How To Get Past Sticking Points During Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is not always smooth. Sooner or later, you will get to the point where both of you refuse to budge on a contentious issue. Here are some tips you can use to get over those sticking points:
Prioritize
If you both understand the issues at stake, but you can't just agree on what to do, then you can try prioritizing your options. This approach works best for the division of assets and liabilities.
Consider the case where both of you are adamant about keeping the family home. In that case, you can list down all the assets that you have to divide such as stock options, joint businesses, and others. Next, both of you should state which of them he or she considers a priority. That way, you can trade off the assets that you don't value much for the ones that your partner doesn't prioritize. Of course, both of you may have to compromise.
Consult a Professional
Sometimes, you may be stuck on an issue simply because you don't understand it well. This frequently happens with financial matters, which tend to be complicated.
For example, the division of stock options in a family start-up business is usually a sticking point for most couple. This is usually the case if either party (or both) feels that he or she was the main contributor to the business. It can even be more challenging if you don't have adequate knowledge of distribution of shares in such cases. In such a case, it might be a good idea to hire and consult a financial expert such as an accountant.
Ask About Precedents
If you are dealing with an experienced mediator, then chances are high that he or she has handled many similar cases before. Ask him or her about how those couples handled the issues, and what the outcomes are. Don't forget that the mediator will only feel comfortable revealing such information if you both want it. Therefore, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner first.
Skip It
During mediation, it is customary to list down all the contentious issues before beginning the family mediation. However, this doesn't mean that you have to discuss them in the order in which they appear on the list. Therefore, instead of discussing one issue endlessly, it might be a good idea to move on to other things and come back to it later.
The process can be smoother if both of you want to make it work. Of course, it also helps to have a mediator whom you respect and believe is qualified and experienced enough to help you.
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